Sunday mornin blue....

Good morning it's quite early. I haven't been sleeping rite and frankly I think I had the blues yesterday that I couldn't get up and go home. I wanted to but just couldn't seem to find the umffff to go..then my tummy got sick for some odd reason..I feel better now and are waiting for the dawn to come so I can pack up and go. I fooled around some more with that black and melon doily and I quit like it. The color's attack my soul..and mentioning my soul I have been trying to focus on losing my weight that I gained. I hate having panic disorder it makes life so difficult I want to do the things I did before and then some. Now that Vee's in school I need to find myself something to do and one is focus on this weight. I gained a good 35 pounds over this past two years.

I often think I want to be skinny like a Victorian Woman..well for the most of my life I was thin..not quite like that but close..any how that is my goal rite now. I want to lose at least 30 lbs by Jan..It's just about to be October so that will be four months. So Starting today seriously I will start the process. I think I'm mentally ready now!..And the other thing that has been tolling in my mind is to get baptized, so I have two goals now..and these are them. So putting my mind in a better mind set is what is needed much concentration. My bible study has been regular now and I was thinking yesterday I have much more understanding then I have ever had now. I do have a couple of things I need to work on. It's a huge decision but one I definitely want to make. There is not one doubt in my mind at all.

Im some what disappointed that I have followers but no one speaks but for the most part I love writitng in my blog. I do hope that my readers enjoy it as well. So what will I be doing today going home to change my comforter and clean the birds up...Camellia and George is what their names shall be. I think they are fine names. I didn't really like greeneyes and jay..I have some Weight Watcher books I want to read and get into. I want to go to Church and I'm not sure in my brain will allow it but I surely will listen in on the landline..I have to get consistent with that as well. It's not that I don't want to be there but my panic disorder make it hard for me..I question it all the time. I'm just three blocks away. well we will see and I suppose I will leave you here. Have a blesset day with love Janice..see you again Monday Morning for school......