THIS IS MY THIRD CHILD WALTER WILSON BONILLA 26 YEARS OF AGE. HE RECENTLY GOT IN TROUBLE AND WENT OFF TO THE FEDERAL JAIL AND HAS BEEN THERE FOR 7 MONTHS. YESTERDAY HE WAS SENTENCE TO FIVE YEARS AND TEN MONTHS. HE HAS A THREE YEAR OLD SON EMILIANO AND HIS LADY JEANNINE. MY SON IS LOVING CARING AND HAS A GOOD HEART BUT HAS THE WRONG IDEAS IN HIS HEAD. HE GOT CAUGHT SELLING DRUGS THEY SAID. YOU KNOW YOU THINK YOU TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THE RITE THINGS AND LATER YOU THINK WHAT DID I DO WRONG MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM MORE. YOU THINK SO MANY THINGS. BUT I KNOW THAT I DID MY BEST UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES. I LOVE MY SON WITH ALL MY HEART MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. I'D GIVE ANYTHING FOR HIM TO BE OKAY. I WENT TO COURT A COUPLE OF TIMES BUT IT WAS JUST TO HARD TO SEE MY SON LIKE THAT. I WANTED TO SUPPORT HIM I DID AND HIS LADY..BUT BETWEEN MY PANIC ATTACKS AND MY HEART I JUST COULDN'T GO ANYMORE. HE WAS SENTENCED TODAY. IN ONE PART OF MY I WANTED TO BE THERE FOR HIM BUT I COULDN'T GO BEYOND MYSELF TODAY TO HEAR THAT HE GOT FIVE YEARS AND 10 MONTHS. THAT'S A LONG TIME. HE WON'T BE CLOSE BY HE WILL BE GOING TO ANOTHER STATE TO DO HIS TIME. MY HEART ACHES FOR MY GRANDSON..HE IS THREE NOW AND WILL BE EIGHT WHEN HE COMES HOME. A GOOD FRIEND AND SUPPORTER OF HIM IS GOING TO SEE HIM TOMORROW AND SHE ASKED ME TO GO..BUT I JUST CAN'T I FEEL SO BAD..BUT I CAN'T GO TO SAY GOOD BYE TO HIM. I JUST CAN'T. LIKE TUESDAY I JUST COULDN'T GO SEE HIM WALK AWAY..WHAT TO DO..I'M TRYING TO BE STRONG I'AM BUT IT'S SO DIFFICULT SPECIALLY WHEN WE WERE JUST STARTING TO BECOME A FAMILY HAVING FAMILY DINNER'S ON SUNDAYS WITH ALL MY CHILDREN AND THERE CHILDREN. SOME HOW WE HAVE TO GET IT BACK TOGETHER AND STAY STRONG FOR EACH OTHER AND DO MUCH PRAYING THAT HE WILL RETURN HOME TO US. THAT'S THE MOST WE CAN DO...IT IS SUCH A HORRIBLE THING TO HAVE HAPPENED I KNOW MANY OF US HAS PROBLEMS SOME NOT SO MUCH AND SOME VERY LITTLE SOME MORE THAN WE KNOW. I WANT EVERYONE ONE TO KNOW. I'M HERE TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH YOU BECAUSE I STRUGGLE IN LIFE AND MAYBE I CAN HELP ANOTHER. I UNDERSTAND MORE THAN YOU KNOW...AND IF NOT I APPRECIATE YOU TIME AND SUPPORT TO ME..I FELT LIKE I WAS CHOKING LIKE IT WAS CLIMBING UP MY THROAT. I HAD TO LET IT OUT...I ASK MY FATHER UP ABOVE TO HELP ME AND GIVE ME STRENGTH THROUGH THIS TIME. I NEED YOU FATHER TO BE BY MY SIDE TO GUIDE ME AND HELP ME DRAW CLOSE TO YOU. FORGIVE ME OF MY SINS FATHER HELP ME TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY WRONGS AND CLEANSE SOUL TO YOUR APPROVAL..PLEASE HELP ME FATHER I ASK YOU THESE THINGS THREW YOUR SON JESUS CHRIST AMEN...I LOVE YOU MY SON WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL I WILL WRITE TO YOU AND SUPPORT YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE...YOUR ALWAYS IN MY HEART.
Hi janice well what can i say friend..im sorry cause im also a mother..i now how much we love our children...janice you have more children i have only 1 so i guess you have gone through a lot..but still these kind of things hurts.. i now...Janice as i love this word..God has not bring you this far to let you down..now.. we let God down many times and seak him when we are in trouble but God is faithfull..remember this .. bad things never last forever cause God is God and there is nothing impossible for God.. its very hard but janice dont misunderstood me..maybe God wants he learn a lesson.. you now janice our children do things that we get ashamed of .. i use to be rebel now i now God i changed and everyone deserved a second chance.. maybe God wants this like this.. talk to God he will give you the answers.. you told in a post your not baptized. yet get baptized seak god when you get the holyspirit he will let you see all good and wrong.. you are safed but the baptizing is a confirmation that you surrounder to gods wil.. you do need god.. also for panick attack a child of god has to live free spiritually and you need it.. in your way of writing i can notice.. you are in my prayer with all love .. i love you my friend.. i do..pray and read the psalms early in the morning no disturbing of people you alone at home keep doing it.. loves soraya
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