Tuesday, January 8, 2013


Trying so hard to find peace in my heart....My daughter Vee up and moved out yesterday without no warning..we had a disagreement and she left me with having to pay the whole rent and bills by myself..
Besides the fact, that she broke my heart taking the baby away who I have bonded with......I'm going
to have to move now going I don't have a clue where...I live on a limited income S.S.I. and I have Section 8 housing...thank God.. cause I'd really be up a creek.. She was always telling me Mommie I will never leave you..and yesterday she told me she shouldn't have to take care of me or help me with her grandmother horrible things...and then to top it off they let my little sweet outside on purpose...I almost lost her...It got so ugly I had to call the police to make these other people get out my house...The police helped me find my doggy...She had went all the way down to the next block and almost crossed the main street she would have gotten hit by a car..I don't know what made her come back..I'm so grateful she did or I would have really been broken. So my night was horrible I had so many things going through my mind over and over again..I didn't sleep to well.. and today I can't seem to keep the tears back..
I'm trying hard to surround myself by things I love...but I ended up coming to Mom's house cause I just didn't feel good alone looking at her room and not seeing baby Isaiah ... I made some banana bread...

It's a old recipe that Mom gave me years and years ago...I forgot to bring it my mind isn't working right so forgive me and I will try to pick it up and give it to you...it's a wonderful recipe..would be lovely for a tea party...Or just a afternoon sitting in the Garden or on the couch...with a hot cup of Tea....

I suppose with the love of God I will be fine in time...but I won't ever forget what she did to me..never..this for me was the last straw....I don't ever want to see my daughter again...I ask God for forgiveness and to put forgiveness in my heart, but it's how I feel..I got rid of all her photos so I can't see her face cause it only brings pain to my heart...

My duck Canisters and my calico cow, I just love my ducks ...I know everyone says they are outdated but I love them just the same...I will never give up my ducks...
I think I'm in need of some desperate guidance....I have so many different emotions going on inside me..
 I think I'm going to miss baby Isaiah very very much...it's the only thing that bothers me the most.. I was just finishing up his blanket..putting the squares together

and now I will just have to keep it..they are gone to where I haven't a clue............I don't know where they went...just watched them leave yesterday and I didn't even see him he was covered up in his car seat... just ridiculous..How could the daughter I raised be so harsh and uncaring...I don't understand in one way..I have never ever been unkind to anyone..I always try my best to be kind to everyone...but I guess life has changed so much with our youth...I just don't know
Forgive me for my post being so open today, but it is my open Diary... I have nothing to hide...I want to thank all of you who are supporting me and your comments yesterday were full of love n kindness...Thank you from the bottom of my heart...I wish you a most enchanting day today full of love....


  1. Bless your dear heart...I am sending up a prayer for you now....just know that this too shall pass and you are not alone through this!God is with you and you have friends. Do forgive sweetie,because forgiveness is a horrid thing..it will eat at your soul and destroy you. To forgive brings about peace and a sweet release...hold your daughter up in prayer,that God will bring salvation and forgiveness to her heart as well....and if there can be no reconciliation between you..let there be forgiveness and peace....God will provide your needs and give you direction for your life....you are in my prayers dear friend....blessings

    Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

  2. I am so sorry to hear what life is throwing your way but just trust that things will be better in time. I can only imagine such heartache. Our blessings are with you and I'm sending lots of healing hugs.

  3. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I have been through a lot with my son through the years. Now we are close. I can remember in his teenage years getting so mad that I destroyed his portrait now I regret it which is the only portrait he had taken as a teenager. In time you will find peace and I am sure you dont think you and your daughter will come back to each other because you will. Children sometimes do stupid things and in time eventually she will see you will always be there for her. Though it doesn't seem that kids will be there for us. They think they are young and have their own lives and dont realize they will get older and be just like us. It time your wounds will heal. take care, Darlene

  4. well i agree with mrs shelley ...God gives us our children to love them...but the bible says clearly God must be # 1 seek his kingdom first..

    choices must be made in our lifes. i have told you that in the past..we are getting old and the lord looks at our lifes..

    we can help people but we can fixed there lifes..

    im telling you this cause i have a son wich dont have these problems but im praying that he also sees whats important in life..

    most of the time what we desired is not what Gods wants for us because are not good for us

    i wish you all the best janice really

    God is waiting for you...blessings soraya

  5. Hello Janice...I'm deeply sorry you have had such a difficult time.

    Trust God to make it all okay. In time, His hand can make all things good again.

    Right now you are very angry but in time, that will lesson. I'm sure you love your daughter and will always love her.

    THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS. It will get better.

    Right now, just keep your eyes on the ROCK. He will turn all things to good. Susan

  6. {{Janice}} So sorry you are going through a tough time right now. I will be praying for you & sending good vibes your way.

    I love your calico cow! Who cares if "they" say the ducks are outdated? It's your home & if they bring you great pleasure well then that's all that matters!

    Keep your chin up, honey!

  7. I am so sorry that you are going through a rough patch with your daughter right now. Sometimes our children do things that break our hearts, but deep down you love them anyway. It just sounds like she needs some space to learn to be the person she is meant to be. Yes, she will make a few mistakes along the way, but didn't we all?
    I know you will find a new place to live, and everything will all turn out OK. Hugs.