Mamas...

     🌺 So here we go...  Real story... Mama passed on in March 14, 2014 she left this little cottage to me..  This very broken cottage..  I one day will have to move here..  I have had nothing but problems though with the whole mess.  Wrong lawyers etc.  who try to charge me $495.00 per hr.  Make me do things that were wrong etc. Just ridculous amounts of money..  I have been going in circles with this whole thing since.  And that is putting it lightly..  There are certain things that have to be done.  So while  Struggling to cover the bills and taxes and house insurance at mamas house and pay my own things in my house it has been tuff... I know its not of anyones business, but since I have readers who would like to know about the just of it all and because I mention mamas house a lot in my post I'm sharing my story with you...  My oldest daughter who also has panic disorder like me lives in mamas house now with her four children and covers the bills so now thats not on my shoulders.  Her and my son also help pay taxes..  Anyhow..  I myself are on S.S.I. because of my panic disorder which I got about six years or so ago..  The reason I haven't moved yet into mamas house yet is for one the legal technicalities.   Two the house needs so much to be done and the room I need to move into has to be totally stripped from ceiling down..  It is full of smoke inbedded in the walls and ceiling from my dad smoking and my brother smoking and smoking drugs in there..  And that take monies which I don't have a lot of..  It has been a tuff two years since mama left..  And to top it off mamas house was full of things junk to the brim...  So I have most everything from the main floor out..  Pretty much only necessities only...  Except that one room has things that were left over from the two storages and some things from mamas room.  And a couple nice cabinets..  Mama also had boxes and boxes of paperwork from bills from forever and everything even my dad who passed on years ago she never rid of a thing...  I think I finally reached the bottom of that this weekend..  There is also a basement that was as big as the the main floor only the rooms had been gutted out years ago when they put a new foundation..  Sad part of that was they filled it with junk and boxes and you name it up in there..  To the ceiling and you could barely walk through..  I had to save up monies for that costing almost $800.00 dollars for a debri box plus having to get a permit for taking up parking spaces which cost almost $200.00 like $185.00.  And that permit is only good for thirty days.. So and that left still much more remaining..  So to answer to peoples questions...  I will most likely soon have to move into this broken house..  I since I got sick have help from the government for my house I live in now.  But will give that up soon.   Will continue only with my S.S.I.  Besides my panic disorder i have a very bad back my lower back there is one part at the bottom where now I barely have any cushion it is almost bone to bone and my neck continually pops out and half of my left legs is partically numb.  I'm suppose to be going to the chiropracter on a regular basis but since medical stop helping and my money ran out trying to run mamas house and mine...  I had to stop..  I had got one estimate for mamas house it would cost me $70.000 to make a apt. Downstairs for my daughter and grandchildren. And a addtional $10.000 plus I pay for materials for the upstairs so probably like $90.000 to a $100.000. That money doesn't exsit ...  The deck is falling down and the electrical in the basement is shot its been there for more than me 58 years maybe mams 80 something years...  My panic disorder I was told was caused by all the drama in my life starting with my father becoming a alcoholic when I was around ten. He became physcially abusive torwards me when I was 12...  I left home when I was 16 1/2..  He stopped drinking later on in life after all the hell we went through.  For over ten years but we had a strange relationship Id say...  I married at a young age to a older man who later I found out drank too much a lot of the times too he was good to me for the most part put there were a couple of times drama came.. So after seven years I left,  couple years later re married a nightmare physical abuse and later mental abuse it took me 13 years to get out of that relationship and he trailed me after through the courts and so much I can probably write a book about it all...  And just o e thing after another bad relationships issues with my drug addict brothers...  My father becoming ill then mama later..  Doctor said my body just couldn't take no more so it went into panic mode...  I had had another bad relationship Before I got sick..  I believe that pushed me there...  I have been single since then pretty much...  Now I focus on God and doing the best I can while I'm walking with the lord...  Keeping all negativity away from me..  I don't know what will happen but I trust in the Lord that he will help me find the way to make mamas house decent for my daughter my grandchildren and myself ...  Last year maybe some of you remember my oldest daughter tried to commit suicide...  Thank the Lord she survived...  My life has been a difficult one in many ways this is just a brief post about it...  Like I said I probably could write a book...  But I have closed that door since mama left..  And I will never be opening anymore..  This is a new day a new beginning..  We are breaking the cycle of alcohol abuse, physcial abuse etc... and no longer are accepting any negativity in this house..  It has been washed clean of all that and I trust that my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ will make it brand new...  Amen...  I hope this post helps clears up any questions up that you all have asked me..  I don't mind sharing any part of my life with you..  I have nothing to hide nor am I  ashamed of anything for growth is important shedding the old life and making it new is more important.  I gave that old life to the lord... Though I wasn't the bad one.. And I was the person on the other side...   I gave all my pain and sorrow and suffering to him...  I'm free...  I walk with him...🌺

                       With love my dearests, Janice🌺

 

Loving Day....

     I thought this morning I would share my Saturday with you...  I have been wanting to go to Walmart but my car is broken and I don't drive distance anyhow because of my panic...  So I asked my daughter in law and she kindly said yes she will take me..  And we decided Saturday would be a good day to go so my son could go too...    But before we went to Walmart they were hungry and me to of course so they took us to a place so cute, it was all about bears and I mean all about...

                      

                            Its called the Black Bear Diner...

                     

     I guess I didn't get the best photos, I only had my phone...but this is a area when your going inside with benches and bear paw prints...  And carved bears at the post parts...  My granddaughter loved it...

                       

     This is when you first walk in see that big giant bear on the top of the jukebox....  

                       

     Everything in this place was about a bear... The clock the boarders  the glasses napkins

                       

                       

                       

                         There was bears hanging from the ceiling

                       

       The menu is a newspaper you open the newspaper up and it is inside...

                       

     This is Ana my daughter in law and my son Michael...  They brought me here to this bear diner...

                       

                     This is Ashley my granddaughter...

                       

     And this is my other love Yuliana... She is their youngest....

                       

     Here is her picture she drew.. She did such a great job so neat...  Kept in the lines really good...

                      

     This is Yuli's plate she had chocolate chip pancakes...  A kids plate but large stack...

                      

     This was mind the plates were huge my photos didn't come out right...  But it was so much food I could only eat half....  So I brought the rest home i cluding half of Yuki's pancakes and half of their potatoes which were amazing and full of flavor...  They were red potatoes with green bell and onion...  But really good...  My son and daughter in law had those...

                      

     Look even the hot sauce bottle had bear labels ...  So cute...

                     

                              The curtains had bears too....

     We had a wonderful time there and at Walmart and just the whole day was peaceful....  My get away from home and life...  I had wanted to go to walmart for the pioneer womans things but was quite disapointed. Her stuff looked cheap looking...  The few things I got on line though I like...  But the rest no not to much so I'm glad I didn't order anymore...  But I did get some cleaning products and some yarn that was red heart at $2.50 so nice over on this side of the world it runs $4.99...  A pretty Aqua color...  I know everything in aqua.  I have some other yarn so I think I'm going to make a blanket for later at mamas house...  Which the next post I will explain it all to you... About mamas house that is...  It is time to get ready for church...

            So may your day be blessed and full of love...  See you soon

                       With love, Janice😘🍃💐💞🌸🌷🌺💐🍃😘

 

Wednesday chatter...

 🌿🌷🌸🌺Good evening dearests,  I'm at mamas again...  I have some things to attend to.  Like gathering up all the old paint cans and chemicals to have the recology garbage people pick it up...  Mama held on to everything and sometimes we laugh because she wasn't a big cleaner upper and theres tons of it...  Anyhow I hope you are all well...  I'm feeling fine a little bit of aches and pains but the most of me feels good.  I'm so happy about my new church it makes me feel wonderful...  So another anyhow, remember this teapot...  Well. i just found the original teacups to it last week and they arrived yesterday in the mail...  And O they are just just so pretty...

     And a few months ago I found the square plates...  The aqua is so beautiful and the flowers..

     I seemed to be finding this pattern more than the other, which is the reverse the trim being aqua...

        But just the same I love them both...

     I just love these flowers I just can't help it...  It just makes me feel so good...

         The aqua is not as strong as the teacups and plates on the teapot...   But the flowers sure are...

           The gravy boat...  I know I have shown this and the teapot before but I'm just so excitied I found four teacups and saucers in mint condition and not to expensive at that....  Like the square plates they are like they never were used ever...  And this pattern is so hard to find...  I just been fortunate...

    

               O and I also made Fig and Rosemary Focaccia yesterday....

     The Figs and Rosemary are from the garden...  The fig tree resides to the right in the neighbors garden but they let it grow over into my garden this year I was so excited because it was easy to pick them...

     So lovely it turned out...  Crispy out on the edges and soft and warm inside..  My favorite time to eat it is when it comes out of the oven.. The best ever..  This was a one bowl recipe that made one large pan...   This is my new vintage cake keeper...  I put the focaccia inside ...  It is a tad bangged up but I don't mind I barely paid anything for it...   I just love it...

            So yummmy....  I will share the recipe with you soon, I think you will like it too..  I love focaccia I have been eating it since I was a little girl...  We used to have a Italian store about two blocks from our house called DeRosa's grocery...ran by Marty and his wife.. The most loving man and lady ever..  When I started school he would let all us kids use the bathroom when ever needed sometimes he would give us free candy...  But mama always would buy fresh focassia and fresh lunch meats and french bread and they don't even have those hard rolls anymore..  It was tomato focassia he would have piles of it on the counter...  And he had a big candy area too..  It was a small corner store with two steps in front and you entered in at a corner angle .. .  Then they retired when I was much older and A Arabic man named Ramsey took over but he never changed a thing and he was just as wonderful loving as Mart and his wife...  Then when I was way older I think and adult he moved away and the place was sold and it is now a beauty salon..  Go figure..  Memories..  All this chatter...  So this morning before I left me and my grandson Isaiah had focassia and he had homemade lemonade and I had tea in my new pretty teacup...

     I hope I didn't chew your ear off with all this chattering..  But I do hope you enjoyed your visit..  Wish we could have tea together..  Wishing you a lovely evening and a lovely Thursday...🌿🌺🌸🌷

                            🌿🌺🌸🌷With love, Janice🌷🌸🌺🌿