Umm, Yesterday I had to take my youngest to the hospital. she is 17 years old and she went out with friends..and they drank and they drank more got into a argument and they left her to go home alone. and she ingested a bunch of pills. I know this is a personal thing but I feel the need to share with you because many young ones today are suicidal. Thank the Lord that she came through it..I was devastated yesterday to say the least..she has made attempts in the past. It's a very difficult thing to live with. I worry every single day for her more than I guess I normally would. I have a fear of finding not alive and many many things. Yesterday I thought we had pasted over that hump to find only that wasn't so...So if you have this issue or know someone..Please be careful..Get help...pay attention..which I have done and we do have help but..pay close attention...I don't know what exactly we can do or how to really prevent it we go to therapy and we do a lot of things together the hard part is allowing her to have a certain amount of freedom. For the most part we have a open relationship we talk about everything whether we don't like the conversation or not..Friends are important..but the kind of friends are even more important. she realizes that and drinking for her promotes bad feelings..I pray that we can lick this...I pray deeply for God's help and guidance. Today I will be looking for things for her to do after the recovery has had time... I don't have a life of Roses I never have. It's been a long difficult life and I had hope to give my children something more better. I tried to do that but not everything was the best..but what I do know is that I did show my children that I will always be there no matter what has happened and to have a open floor to speak with me for good or bad. That's why she was able to come and tell me what she had done..She knew that I would take care of her..So if anything let your children know they can tell you whatever it is that they need to..I didn't have that growing up..and it was hard on me I had no one to turn to...This life is much more harder than when I was growing up. The gangs violence children in general just have a hard time..With this all said. My agenda today is running to the Bank and just trying to focus of me and her and her mostly. Positive thinking, she realized that she wants to live and be okay. . . It's cold and foggy this morning...seems to be okay though for me..I'm okay with it..I'm here at Mom's. I went home to find this problem was going to Church I didn't get to go, but that's okay there is next week and maybe my daughter will accompany me I hope and pray. I tried to explain to her that God was my avenue to survive. He has been my soul. Without him I would have never made it myself...He gave me and gives me the strength. Just like yesterday as you know I have panic disorder but I got through it without it coming on. and I surprisingly handled it all alone. So through the bad came the good...So now we start all over again, one day at a time slowly moving forward into a better zone. . . Trust in the Father above, for strength and guidance! I do...completely he has never failed me. never! I wish all my friends and family a great fabulous day...May God bless us all...Amen.