Letting go isn't the easiest thing ... But it's time to let the baby chick become her own hen....And as hard as it will be for me... It's a must for my own well being..Sometimes we don't realize the things I suppose. It's been a hard and difficult for me...Vee and Isaiah leaving recently was hard...she returned only to say she was leaving again..well that just nearly took my breath away.,she hadn't been here barely over nite..My heart just broke and felt worse than the first time... I don't like it but there isn't much I can do at this point..except to let her see what the life is really like. She is gonna be nineteen in March. The future isn't so bright these days things have changed a whole lot compare to when I started out..but all in all I must let go like I told Mom...she is gonna end up giving me a heart attack..So I decided to say good bye and let her go.. when she left recently it was on bad terms. I'm not sure how I'm gonna handle it this time, but I'm not going to let it stop my life anymore..I will just have to find my own life alone...Which seems to be such a hard hard task at the moment..I think if I didn't have the panic disorder it would be half as difficult. But still living alone and being alone is no fun no matter how you look at it.. I'm so used to having children around etc. I have been praying asking for God to help get me to church. If I could just get that strength to walk over to church on my own it would be the most wonderful thing for me..some times I have to be honest I hate my life because the panic attacks have changed it so much..
I have fought for the last three and a half years..to be okay behind my panic...I have never felt so all alone in my life..and now it will be even be more so now that she wants to leave..I pray this morning that the lord and father above come with their holy spirit and comfort me and guide me through these days to come..to give me the strength that I need to accomplish the task of getting to church..
Wishing everyone a wonderful enchanting weekend..
On a positive note.
I'm gonna be okay
cause I know my Heavenly Father is by my side
Amen
My dear Janice, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry to hear about your panice attacks. I have a relative that has those and I see how difficult life can be at times. But praise the Lord for His great strength!
ReplyDelete"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am the God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. For I the Lord will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee." Isaiah 41:10,13
Love, hugs and blessings to you,
Stephanie
Thank you Stephanie so much for your loving comment it means the world to me..
ReplyDeletekeep praying...god hears you!!!!
ReplyDeleteJanice,
ReplyDeleteHang in there. You have the right faith - and time will work things out.
Your photos are beautiful and you have a lovely blog!
Have a blessed and wonderful weekend.
Hello Janice...I hope, so much, you can ask God to hold your hand and walk beside you as you make your way to your church. He will, you know.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the visit to my blog, too!
Love it when you stop by.
Enjoyed seeing your thrift shop finds. You got some lovely things.
And your doilies? Astounding in their beauty.
Janice, I like the saying that women are like tea bags. We don't know how strong and wonderful we are until we are put into hot water!
(Or something like that.)
You are going through a terrible time right now but you will come out strong and better!
Your daughter will probably eventually have a good relationship with you, too.
Sometimes we get along better with our daughters if we do NOT live with them.
Take care and I wish the best for you, always. Susan
Dear Janice,
ReplyDeleteWant you to know I am praying for you and that you will feel better real soon.
Nancy
Letting go is the hardest thing a Mom can do. Our homes become somewhat of a revolving door for our children as they grow up and learn to stand on their own two feet. They come, they go. All we can do is let them know that we will always love them, no matter what, no matter where.
ReplyDeleteI hope you do go to church tomorrow. You are never alone, because God is with you.
Dear Janice, I think about you so often during the week. Letting go is so hard and I can hear the concern in your words for you daughter.
ReplyDeleteI have been through very sad and difficult times with both of my daughters and now they both doing so well and I am so proud of them both.It is a journey. If you can go to church, I think it would be good for you. God will be with you and send others to help you through this. Don't forget that we are here for you too and are praying for you.
Hugs,
Linda
I'm relatively new here to your blog, so I didn't realize until just now about your panic attacks. I'll be praying the Lord will give you strength and courage. (hugs)
ReplyDeletemy goodness thank you everyone for all the encouragement from my heart I appreciate every single word...I'm glad I have you all as friends even though we don't see each other or we haven't met I feel I close to you in a sense..hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteHi Janice, Take care and keep trusting God. Things will get better. I wanted to let you know I adore your Royal Doulton tureen as well as the pink teacups you showed. May you be blessed, Janice. I said a prayer for you today.
ReplyDeleteblessings, Beth